Bugmaster

funds are a little low this year, so i'm only going to see two sundance films. bugmaster is the first.

it's always nice to see a film that doesn't feel impelled to explain everything about itself. or even most of itself. i'm not going to do any plot reviews here (you can read several in other places). i do want to get a few thoughts down, though.

it says something about me when the films i like best involve guys struggling against themselves. there's mr. stevens who wouldn't let himself connect with ms. kenton. and there's howl who roamed around in his filthy demon-driven castle, turning into a demon himself at night to fight in wars he hated. ginko doesn't quite resonate in me like mr. stevens and howl, but his story takes me to places that hint at familiarity.

i don't often think much about what my name was and what my corresponding life involved before i was born out of my mother. maybe it's best i don't, at least for now--it's bad enough to live this life as it is without introducing other lives into it. sure, there's duty to those whose lives i can help, and duty to her whose travails brought me into my own life. i haven't met anyone to share a life with, though. certainly not someone who would lose any part of herself should i die. i get a hormone buzz every once in a while, like everyone. but a tanyu....no, not really even very close.

if she ever did appear, though, as richard g. scott once said, she certainly wouldn't have me. what's nice about ginko is that he leaves his life without tanyu.